What’s the Rush, Guv’nor? A Guide to Slow Leveling

A few days ago, as I was skipping merrily through the Inevitable City, on my way to the mount vendor, I saw this marauder just sitting there. I took a closer look at him and noticed it. The guy was rank 30-something (35ish? 36ish?). Because of the initial surprise (expressed through an eloquent OMG WTF!), I forgot to approach him and initiate conversation. Instead, I scurried to the mount vendor, got me a riding piggy and went forward to 20 more minutes of merry skipping.

And still, I can’t help but wonder - why? Was this just a guy with too much free time, rushing to catch his two minutes of dubious fame? Was this character played by more than one person? Was it played by monkeys hired by gold-selling companies, monkeys who were just hurrying to where the fat loot is?

Too bad I didn’t approach him then, because now I’m dying to figure out why he was doing it. Why would people willingly ignore so much of the content there is in the game, just to get to the max rank? And when they get there, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO? Not like there was anyone he could play scenarios or take keeps with, not at that moment. I mean, there’s barely any action in tier 3 right now!

That being said, I’ve decided to write my own tongue-in-cheek guide on how NOT to level up or, at any rate, how to do it as slowly as possible. Already there are people moping about cause they went a bit too far and there’s nothing to do while they wait for their friends to catch up. This one’s for them. In time, I will eventually release a pro edition of this guide, with tips from the world’s slowest levelers, detailed videos showing you exactly where to go and what to do in order not to gain any XP and a special appendix listing all the mobs that don’t drop any loot. (And if you really believed that last phrase, please stop reading).

First of all, the most important tip I have is - make use of your Tome of Knowledge. Seriously, read it. Read the chapter entries, the misc stories, the notable person entries. Everything. Not all at once, of course, but if you’re just waiting for a scenario to pop up or for your friends to log in, why not take a peek at it? There’s fun stuff in there and someone squeezed his brains off to write stories that you might find enjoyable. So why neglect it? Besides, you don’t need to be a lore buff (I’m not) to appreciate them. The greenskin ones are quite hilarious for example!

The Tome holds your background story and puts all those ‘kill ten rats’ quests in a context. The story progresses as you do and really adds that extra flavour to the whole package. So maybe stop every now and then and go through it, see what’s what?

Or there’s something else you can do (here’s a wild idea!). Socialize! Start a conversation with the fellow next to you. Answer when someone says hello upon joining a party. Help a newbie on the zone channel. If you’ve been following the whole new media movement, their general take is that MMOs are indeed social experiences. As opposed to this, a large part of what we now call old or traditional media seems to believe that MMOs only serve to further alienate people from the real world and actual communication. Sometimes, I’m not sure which is right. But really now, drop the autistic behaviour, you’re just proving Jack Thompson right, and that is utterly unacceptable, to say the least. The good news is that taking the time to actually type words into your chat box will most likely slow down your XP flow.

Don’t kill steal. Don’t steal nodes. Don’t grab quest items from under someone’s nose while they’re busy fighting the mob guarding them. Surefire way to slow your levelling. The downside to this is that people might actually think you’re a nice person.

Do work with your team. Today, in a T3 scenario, a bright wizard did upwards of 100k damage. He got the most XP at the end of the round (I checked the list). His team mates weren’t so lucky as we beat the crap out of them, once we figured out that the wizard just spams AoE on groups and has no intention of actually stopping our bomb carrier. So don’t be an arse and go sacrificing everyone else for your own advancement, people remember that kind of stuff.

Visit all the zones in a tier. There’s always something cool to see in any zone. Just travel places, have a look at quest texts (and pick them up if you want), maybe stop by to help random people if you feel like it. Try to get to place that the devs thought inaccessible (remember those guys getting into Caverns of Time before they were open? Or people figuring out how to get into Old Ironforge? Stop levelling and go figure out a puzzle right now! People will appreciate it more than if you don’t sleep for 50 hours because you were farming or grinding).

Wait on your friends - a great way to stop levelling altogether, moreso if they have actual jobs or responsibilities and cannot afford to invest as much time into WAR as you do. Also, helping lower rank buddies with quests is another great way of gaining pisspoor XP, as the mobs you’ll be fighting will be a good way below your level.

Siege a keep every once in a while, even if you’re not at the max rank for your tier. I realize some people like to stay holed up in scenarios until they hit 11/21/etc and only then pop up for open RvR. That won’t do though and if you’ve taken the habit, you’ll need to drop it. Because, most of the time, being in a huge group won’t net you anywhere near the XP you could’ve made doing quick and dirty scenarios. So, again, slower leveling! Huzzah!

There’s more I could write about this but I feel that the piece is long enough as it is. Also, I wouldn’t want to expose you to too much sarcasm in one single day. See how nice I am? Just remember to stop and ask yourself: “Am I in any kind of hurry?” If it’s your 8th alt and you just want to catch up with the rest of your mates, then fine, totally understandable. But if you just bought the game and are rushing through it at the speed of light then you’re doing it wrong. (See: now I’m being nice AND judgmental. Two for one folks, best offer you’re going to get all day) It’s a MMO, you can’t “beat the game”. And chances are some Korean kid beat you to whatever your goal is anyway. So just relax and enjoy the waaagh at a speed that enables you to see it.

Later Edit: I almost forgot. The best way to slow down your leveling process is to start a blog, where you can make long-winded posts all day long complaining about people’s playing habits, how young people have no respect anymore and what the world is coming to nowadays. See what I did there?

Tags: guides